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After recovering from that stroke I tried to regain what few senses I had left.
"Where...am I? What's happening?"
Pausing a moment to take in my surroundings, I'm clearly in my trusty '94 Civic EX; the scent of three Black Ice air fresheners hanging from the rear-view mirror and the Initial D complete collection in the passenger seat is enough to convince me of that much. But which intersection am I at and why don't I remember driving here?
Someone honks next to me.
Looking to my left I see an LS1 swapped Miata with none other than Ryan 'Fuċking' Gosling behind the wheel. Still under post-stroke effects, I'm struggling to figure out if this is real life or just Fanta sea. Before I can ask how his smile can makes me feel things my girlfriend can only dream of, I hear another honk to my right.
Lacking in looks but not in character, I see Billy Mays in an S2000. "VTEC BRO", he shouts, engine revving hysterically. Are we racing?
Right as I was wishing to return to the comfort of the stroke, Lakitu appears in front of us signifying the immediacy of my current predicament.
My competition may be fierce and handsome, but they're no match for the aftermarket electric turbo I found off Ebay. The added boost gauge was a nice touch.
Lakitu's light turns green and rubber starts burning. Gosling's swap clearly pays off as he's multiple car lengths ahead of Billy and I, but the more I think positive thoughts about Paul Walker's friendship with Vin Diesel, the faster I can feel my Civvy gaining on him.
Moments before I'm about catch up to the manliest of Miata drivers, a blur zooms past my right side. I can only assume it was Mays, but all I could hear was the sound of the VTEC and someone exclaiming "BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE."
